March 15, 2008

Girly

I should preface this blog entry by stating that I haven't read Girly since after the end of Chapter 11: The Big Mix-Up because it was so boring that I didn't want to risk getting into it. I wouldn't be writing about this if not for the fact that apparently there are quite a few people who actually like this comic, most notably in the comments section of one esteemed John Solomon.

In a way, it's understandable. Josh Lesnick, author of Girly and a multitude of other comics that are more-or-less pornography (as far as I know, Girly is the only one that's less), is another person who is vocally opposed to bad webcomics. In such a small world of webcomic-hating, it's no surprise that the followers of Solomon have gravitated to Lesnick, and possibly vice versa. There are only really two great blogs that even address webcomics: Your Webcomic Is Bad and You Should Feel Bad and These Webcomics Are So Bad, by Sonty Mick. The rest are crap like Eric Burns or Robert Tangents or Malethoth Kazyanenko. Self-effacing humor: a way of nullifying the fact that I suck? Not likely.

The thing is, while Josh Lesnick may be an admirable man for daring to take on the Culture of Nice, he's not exactly the bee's knees when it comes to making webcomics. You see, as I subtly stated in the opening paragraph, Girly is boring. What is Girly, you might ask? It is the tale of two wacky lesbians, who are also superheroes! That's all there is. From that description, you can easily extrapolate all the stupid drama and plot points: Are they really going to fall in love? What about the other superheroes? What if they break up? Oh it's just so fascinating and also arousing.

Okay, I lied, there's also an entire chapter dedicated to gender-swapping. Even hotter!

There's a cast of supporting characters, such as the Stupid Asshole Guy who gets yelled at in a way eerily reminiscent of early (and middle and later) Dominic Deegan, and Stupid Ditzy Girl who is basically Kyle Mistry's creation transposed into a lesbian drama. There's Super Hot Guy, the Mexican who is irresistable to the ladies, but must learn to curb his raw sexual prowess. Also, he has two brothers or something who dick around trying to rescue him. There's the Super Hot Policewoman and the Shy Nerdy Will-He-Or-Won't-He Policeman who finally plucks up the courage to ask her on a date and ends up having super hot sex you guys. There's the Super Hero Who Is Really Not That Super who nevertheless gets in the way of our wacky superhero lesbian pals. It turns out, by the way, that these obnoxious labels are the sum totality of their characters. If you're thinking to yourself "well but they're just supporting characters" I remind you that the two principle characters are defined entirely by the traits Wacky Lesbian and Depressed Lesbian.

There's no easy way for me to transition into the discussion of the art at this point, so I'll just do it with arbitration. The art is stupid and terrible. It just... it just is. It starts off as animu shit with giant eyes and no noses and ends up as animu shit, only with completely incomprehensibly dense panels that are so goddamn action-packed that nobody can say what's going on. The whole time, the characters' tits are getting bigger and they're making out with more people so the intended audience (people who won't shell out ten bucks for his fully pornographic comics) can jerk off more-or-less continuously. It's basically if all the creepy softcore teeny animu boppers of Chugworth were combined with the creepy softcore levitationtits of Lowroad, although Lesnick's characters are even more "stylised." (read: hideous abominations of flesh and ink.) The art revels in mawkish facial expressions, distended bodies, and poorly-drawn fanservice. Based on what I've read of Doctor Voluptua, it's not just limited to Girly.

Beyond the fact that the comic is constructed entirely of shitty characters and shitty animu, it's really, really, really boring and long-winded. You have weeks where all you hear is Depressed Lesbian whining about how depressed she is and wondering what her true feelings are for Wacky Lesbian. Multiple times, even after it's clearly established that they're an Item (wink wink). That gender-swapping arc, in addition to the sort of lame fanservice you'd expect from a TG comic includes Mookie-esque exposition, which is to say redundant, impossibly long-winded, and ultimately more obscuring than illuminating. From what I hear, it's even worse with more recent comics. I don't even dare look.

This post doesn't have any links in it, because I'm terrified of providing links. If you just sort of skim through the first comic of each chapter, which are actually fairly difficult to find (try the bottom of the page), you'll get what I'm saying. It's a fast-forward of Lesnick's development from shoddy animu wank provider to professional shoddy animu wank provider, with a heaping dose of terrible writing to accompany it. I don't think I can brave the archives long enough to actually provide more specific examples. This is the reason why I probably will not write about Questionable Content, although the fact that it has some 1100 comics in its archives might have something to do with it.

Girly is shit.

9 comments:

Wanker G. Spot said...

How come I don't seem to be showing up as a co-author?

Malethoth K. said...

I added the email address you gave me on your blog. It still says that there's an open invitation. I think you need to go onto that account and accept it?

Wanker G. Spot said...

Hmm, maybe... I'll see what I can does.

Wanker G. Spot said...

It doesn't seem to be showing up. If it was emailed to me it might have been deleted because Mailinator seems to delete emails automatically. How about I add you to my blog instead?

Malethoth K. said...

I re-sent the invitation, and joined your blog. We'll have to see how this works out.

Rusty said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
themasternimbus said...

Hmm... I could write a big rant about how wrong you are... or I could just say you're dumb.

Yeah, you're pretty dumb.

Thing in the Coat said...

Well, it's a been well over a year and a half since I've last read Girly, so I can't really remember much about the drama, but one thing I can say is that it's not animu anymore. Rather, it's more like everything is molded out of rubber and floam by John Kricfalusi, and then put into an oven set at 350.

Seriously, the shit's utterly chaotic, like it's just on the verge of dripping apart. It becomes difficult to navigate at times.

Jesus E. Sanchez said...

"What is Girly, you might ask? It is the tale of two wacky lesbians, who are also superheroes!"
You don't even know what the story is about?

"Okay, I lied, there's also an entire chapter dedicated to gender-swapping. Even hotter!"
It's poking fun at those plots used during disney's golden age. It's SATIRE.

"It's basically if all the creepy softcore teeny animu boppers of Chugworth were combined with the creepy softcore levitationtits of Lowroad, although Lesnick's characters are even more "stylised." (read: hideous abominations of flesh and ink.)"
Don't you even DARE mention Chugworth in a Girly Article

You don't even know how wrong you are. I couldn't even believe I read after your description of the comic, seeing as you don't even know what the comic is even ABOUT. It's a good thing no one knows or cares about this blog. Sad really.

Delete this post like you did with Rusty, idc.

If you are from 4chan, then GOOD TROLL 8/10